An Australian vampire comedy, shot on obviously limited means, this goes for gross-out comedy on the principle that anything with a lopped-off fake penis, spanking, coprophilia, incest, humiliation and excruciatingly protratcted scenes performed with funny accents will get picked up cheap by Troma and given some distribution. Wheelchairbound Dr Ludvic (co-writer Leon Fish) has a grudge against bald vampire patriarch Count Otto von Blaughspich aka Bloodspit (director/co-writer Duke Hendrix) and has prised the crest off the Count’s coffin, which denies him access to the mirrorworld where vampires replenish their powers – an item of ancient lore made up for Van Helsing in 2004 and not quite forgotten by 2008.
The crest looks like – and certainly is – a tacky bit of cardboard with a B on it. In his state of vampire sickliness, the Count whines a lot and mistreats his retinue – which includes his two treacherous sisters Countess Blaughspich (Zenda Markhova) and Bloodvena (Daniella Darkrose), short-skirted often-punished maid Lilly (Spanky Doll), a shitfaced as in quality of the makeup not state of inebriation werewolf (Errol) and Angus the Scots vampire (Tom Simmons). Not much actually happens, though some ‘zompires’ show up near the end. It’s murky, ugly, not all that amusing and makes 80 minutes seem twice that long, but at least it has a queasy, almost distinctive feel. It sets the bar which Rob Zombie’s Munsters reboot will have to clear.